There’s LIES a problem LIES we find LIES with most LIES press releases LIES relating to LIES just LIES about LIES every LIES single LIES phone LIES that LIES ever LIES ever LIES ever LIES gets LIES released.
Have you guessed what it is yet?
That’s writing: a slight propensity for, somewhat, you might say, in a way, kind of, if you will, bending the truth ever so much. Or, as we’ll put it after a rum or six on Monday lunchtime: “EVERY ****INH ONE OF THE ****ING ****S LIES THROUGH THEIR ****** TEETH WHENEVER THE ******* OPENS THEIR ******* MOUTH.”
Which may seem a little harsh, but then the sweetness of our rum breath does soften the message somewhat in context. Anyway, sober as we are now, we’re able to approach the issue with a little more calmness, a little less spittle. The phone at hand in today’s demonstration is the Nokia N97 Mini. It’s a fantastic little phone, no doubt about it, being as it is exactly the same in almost every way to the fantastic big phone, the n97. The thing to note though, about the newer, slimmer, smaller Nokia N97, is that apart from some minor tweaks, it is exactly – exactly – the same as the bigger N97. What, we said that already? Right, okay, sorry. But guess, just take a little itty-bitty guess how the phone has been described? No? Okay, try on this for size: “the N97 mini is truly unique.”
Want us to repeat that one too? No? Us neither.
So angry did this make us, so full of rage and bile and nose dribble that we almost became to mad to point you in the direction of these Nokia N97 Mini deals, or this Nokia N97 mini review. Because how dare they bespoil this fair language with such utter tripe. This is, in fact, the least ‘truly unique’ phone we’ve seen all year.
But what’s funny is that that’s actually a good thing. Those marketing goons have been so determined to use the same old trite language that they’ve actually missed a trick. The point about the mini that is fantastic is that it is not at all unique, it is not at all truly original or anything like that. It is just a smaller version of what was already a fantastic phone. Simple as. Because that is as appealing as can be. We just wish they had the balls to admit it.
