Mobile Phone Blog – Mobile phone reviews and news

Touchscreens, innit. Wicked. The future.

Well, yeah, kinda. Although we have to say we’re pretty much still in the physical keys boat if we’re honest. Give us some nice solid pieces of plastic (or metal, if we’re feeling flush) to press over a big flat screen any day.

We can text in the dark, navigate the menus in a club, and take pictures of ladies underwear under tabl – wait, scratch that last one. Point being, once you get to know a phone with physical keys, you don’t even need to look at the thing to use it. Can this ever be the case with touchscreens? Well, probably not, but phones like the Samsung Genio Touch are at least going to make an effort towards pretending that they know what you like by offering haptic feedback. Haptic feedback? We hear you shout. Yes, haptic feedback. Let us (i.e. Wikipedia) tell you what it’s all about. Well, it’s simple really: when you touch the touchscreen, the phone gives off a little touch-specific vibration, to give you something towards the sense of a physical, tactile response. Basically meaning that you know when the phone knows that you’re trying to do something, because it will give a little shake of appreciation.

Pretty cool, huh. And that’s what we like about the Samsung Genio Touch. It might not be the best phone out there – in fact, it’s very far from it, but it’s supposed to be, because it’s a budget phone – but it does have enough cool little features like that hapticness (don’t try and find that one on Wiki) to make it a very viable option for the budget minded out there. Have a little look at this Samsung Genio Touch review to get more a sense of what it’s got to offer. Or have a look at the official press release. Or, if you really have to, this video below.

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A Finnish mobile phone manufacturer mimicking a Danish lager brewer… whatever will they think of next?

Because for years you’ve been hearing about what would happen “if” Carlsberg did other things. If they did parties you’d be surrounded by nubile young things wearing very few things… If they did Sunday pub teams you’d be playing with a bunch of senile ex-England stars. If if if…

But, in a sense, those Finns have gone one better with the Nokia Booklet 3G, because Nokia haven’t just asked us to imagine how great it would be if they went out and made a netbook, they’ve actually gone out there and made a netbook. And, well, it’s great.

Like, really, properly, full on great. We’ve been using netbooks for a while now, loving their no (or low) frills attitude and sheer portability. And, seeing as how Nokia phone’s have always been about those kind of things too, we had every confidence the Nokia 3G Booklet was going to be a cracker. And boy, is it.

A 10” HD screen, 3G, WiFi, sim card slot, Windows 7, 12 (twelve!) hours of battery life… what more do we need to say. Well, the question, as always, is what more can we be arsed saying. The answer, as always, is very little. But, good news too is that this fair Nokia Booklet 3G review and this official page say far more than we ever could here anyway.

So click through, agree with the greatness, crack open a beer, and just thank the day that Nokia ever decided to do a Carlsberg on us

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Sometimes, as utterly amazing, fantastic, intelligent, witty, attractive, fantastic and downright historically important as our blogs are, even we realise that whatever we right is not as effective as a mere video. Only sometimes mind, but, credit where it’s due, today is one of those days. So go on, we won’t feel bad, have a skip down to the video about the N900 attached to the bottom of this post. Go on, we won’t shout, honest.

Done it? Excellent.

So, presumably, like us, you were a bit bemused at first. Or if not bemused then sighingly depressed. Another self-made Nokia video, another reason to get mad about Nokia self-making videos. Guy with stupid Finnish hair? Check. Guy with stupid Finnish hair trying not to look like a middle-class dad of two who owns a sensible car by wearing a Stussy t-shirt? Check. Uber geek second Finnish guy who looks, well, less, or, maybe, more, oh god, what, terrifying? Check. Dodgy camera work? Check? Disappointing shots of the – GOOD LORD WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT

See, right there, that moment, that point at which they actually stop blathering on and show the phone, that is when it suddenly all becomes worth it. Because the Nokia N900 is a stonker, a stone cold screamer, a downright bad ass of a phone. And that’s not even doing it full justice. It’s not even worth mentioning any of the features of this phone here, in fact. And not only because we’re lazy and can just point you in the direction of this Nokia N900 review, or these official stats. But because there’s just too many. And every single one of them, every stat, every app, every gadget, gizmo and design feature is just spot on. Fair enough, you might not want what used to be (and now, thank god, doesn’t seem to be) called an internet tablet. But if you do, if you’re in any way in the market for a multimedia / smartphone / other kind of all-singing/-dancing handset, then put your feet up, relax, you just found what you’re looking for. It’s as simple as that.

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Man gets run over by car on Oxford Street. FAIL!

Dog bites woman on hand, detaches finger. FAIL!

Grandparent drops baby. FAIL!

Sometimes, the kids, they give us great things. Not very often, to be fair. But sometimes phrases, inventions, new musical styles or other such things emerge from da yoof. However, most of the time, all we get from them are inanities, stabbings, swine flu and all manner of STDs.

What we’re not able to decide, however, is in which camp to place the newest craze sweeping the nation (or our local pub, at least): that of people shouting FAIL at anyone who does something wrong, anyone who is bettered by someone in any way, or even just at the occurrence of an event, happening or circumstance that could have in some small or large way gone better than it did. It’s the Nelson in the Simpsons shouting HA-ha for 2009.

Mostly, it just winds us right up. But that might be because we’re quite often on the end of said FAIL! hollerings. However, we also find ourself using it more and more, and today was such a day. Because we slightly reluctantly – knowing the “quality” of the videos they produce – sat down to watch the below offering for the Nokia 5230. Then at about 35 seconds, we did a double take, rewound, then watched again. And then we shouted FAIL! At the screen. Have a go yourself. 33…34…35… finger scrolls over screen…36… screens decides to actually respond to touch. Massive, terminal FAIL! How could you make a video that shows a possible failing in your product? Utter FAIL! Radical FAIL! Sublime FAIL!

Which is all rather a shame, because as this official page details, and as this Nokia 5230 review explains, the Nokia 5230 is really not a bad phone at all. In fact, it’s a very decent, very affordable phone. Hey ho, there’s no accounting for FAIL!

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“Structured forms, intricate corners, hidden depths and jewel accents are set to be some of the hottest fashion trends in 2010.”

Right. Read it again. Then try just once more. Now try and equate that tripe with a mobile phone. You heard us. A mobile phone. The Sony Ericsson Jalou, in case you were wondering.

Now, regardless of whether you think the above quote is actually in anyway true in relation to the fashion trends of 2010 (our guess is not even slightly, but then we’re a cynical lot), we’re more concerned about what that kind of language is doing in relation to a phone in the first place. Because a phone is a phone, not a piece of fashion.

A phone can be a fashion statement, yes. A phone can be an accessory, sure. A phone can even be something you buy more for how much people are going to be impressed by its looks as for what it can do to make your life better. But a phone is not, can not, never has been, never will be and never should be part of the fashion world. High fashion is over here (in London, let’s say), whereas mobile phone manufacturing is over here (in, say, a small industrial town in Korea). And we think most people know that. Most people aren’t looking for ‘jewel accents’ or ‘hidden depths’ in their phones. They’re looking for phones. For internet connectivity. For megapixels. For gigabytes.

Most people realise that. The chumps who’ve made the Sony Ericsson Jalou seem, however to have failed. Anyway, check out this Sony Ericsson Jalou review for more information, less cynicism. Or for the really brave, check out the video below.

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Ah, new media technology, is there anything you can’t do… You bring people families and friends scattered around the world together; spread news and education to every part of the globe; start revolutions; stop wars; you let people update their status every 12 minutes with statements of such eye-bleeding banality that sometimes it’s hard to even carry on; and you encourage people to post videos of themselves in their bedrooms on youtube… truly the future is here.

And look, look what we have here, a phone that embraces all of this. Behold, the 3 Mobile INQ Chat 3G, a phone that, in terms of Facebook and Twitter is ‘always on’, meaning that never again will you have to log-in to find out what 312 people just ate for their dinner, never more shall you have to spend 19 valuable seconds loading Twitter in order to tell the world that you’ve just bought a new phone and that it’s like, yeah, propah wikkid, innit, coz its all like shiny and sht. And with its QWERTY keyboard, the INQ Chat 3G will also let you write more, write faster and write better than ever before, all for a price – as this agrees – that is surprisingly, if not deliciously, cheaper than chips. Read this INQ Chat review for a fuller rundown of what this future-tool is capable of.

And then, moving swiftly on, look what we have here, in the video embedded below….

Why, good christ above, it is a child of this new age, a new media urchin of the finest quality. Look how he interacts so seamlessly with his video recording PC. See how he talks to the computer as if it were a fellow human. See the strong, full body that the plentifulness of this new age has granted him with its abundant provisions. Truly, the future is here and it’s a… hark! My Lord… would you – he’s singing! The dear sweet angel is singing! [2m 45s...] Singing about mobile phones. It’s all so, so, so integrated and contiguous.

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We’ve a long held belief here, and one that comes into our mind more and more as the months roll by and ever more so-called advanced phones roll before our eyes, that there’s something to be said for having a basic, bottom rung kinda phone.

And we should say straight away, seeing as how this is what this blogs about, that this isn’t any kind of negative criticism of the INQ Mini 3G. Yes, we’re saying this phone is utterly basic, but why does that have to be a bad thing? It doesn’t do anything wrong, as such, it just doesn’t try and pretend to do things that it’s not supposed to (being a hella cheap phone). In fact, for just shy of seventy quid to get this thing on pay as you go (and cheap INQ Mini 3G deals aplenty to be found on contract too), you you should be thankful this thing does anything.

But it say a lot towards what INQ have achieved that this thing does actually do quite a lot, and do it well too. All the Twitter, Facebook, Windows Live, Gmail and other keeping-in-touch style things are looked after better in the phone’s software than just about anywhere else. These aren’t just bolted on apps – the INQ Mini 3G has been designed from scratch with these in mind, making them work seamlessly with the phone’s operating system.

There’s a 2.2″ 240 x 320 pixel display, a basic bur effetive 2 megapixel camera and 3.5G support, all packed into a casing that is as robust and solid as any of those old Nokia’s that used to last for years. And like those, you can also switch and change the casing on these things, with seven different garish options for you choose from.

So there we have it. Check out this INQ 3G Mini review if you want more convincing, but we’re sold already: cheap is the new expensive.

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Ageing is a terrible thing. Just ask, well, anyone who’s really old. There tell you. Once they’ve finished dribbling into a bucket and wetting themselves.

But even before all that nastiness other terrible things happen. You can’t leer at girls and get away with it any more. Or, more accurately, you can’t leer at girls without the police being called, whereas before they just used to punch you. Then there’s hair loss. Then there’s immovable beer bellies. Then there’s the sudden realisation that you’re just not cool any more.

And, a bit like how dogs age far quicker than humans, the Nokia 5800 has already reached its middle age, less than a year after it was first released. How do we know this? Well, the Nokia 5800 Navigation edition is about to be released, and gone is the XpressMusic tag. That’s not to say this thing doesn’t still play music really really well (it does), it’s just that – like your dad and his fancy stereo – it’s just better that we don’t mention it. Instead, Nokia want the Nokia 5800 Navigator edition to be all about that most middle-aged of things: driving to destinations efficiently and in a timely manner, avoiding all queues and possibly stopping at a service station or quaint pub to enjoy a pint of bitter and some kind of pie. Because the 580o Navigation Edition comes pre-installed not only with Nokia Maps, but with lifetime license for voice-guided Drive and Walk navigation for your region.

Obviously you’ll be paying for these licenses via your contract, or in whatever price you pay for a pay-as-you-go version, but it’ll work out cheaper than if you were to pay for them separately. So, no need for a separate GPS to plan those trips to your caravan in Aberystwyth. Whoop-de-******-do.

Sound good to you? Then have a little look at this Nokjia 5800 navigation review. Or at this official page. Or… oh, who are we kidding. No one who’s old enough to appreciate this even reads blogs, right?

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There’s LIES a problem LIES we find LIES with most LIES press releases LIES relating to LIES just LIES about LIES every LIES single LIES phone LIES that LIES ever LIES ever LIES ever LIES gets LIES released.

Have you guessed what it is yet?

That’s writing: a slight propensity for, somewhat, you might say, in a way, kind of, if you will, bending the truth ever so much. Or, as we’ll put it after a rum or six on Monday lunchtime: “EVERY ****INH ONE OF THE ****ING ****S LIES THROUGH THEIR ****** TEETH WHENEVER THE ******* OPENS THEIR ******* MOUTH.”

Which may seem a little harsh, but then the sweetness of our rum breath does soften the message somewhat in context. Anyway, sober as we are now, we’re able to approach the issue with a little more calmness, a little less spittle. The phone at hand in today’s demonstration is the Nokia N97 Mini. It’s a fantastic little phone, no doubt about it, being as it is exactly the same in almost every way to the fantastic big phone, the n97. The thing to note though, about the newer, slimmer, smaller Nokia N97, is that apart from some minor tweaks, it is exactly – exactly – the same as the bigger N97. What, we said that already? Right, okay, sorry. But guess, just take a little itty-bitty guess how the phone has been described? No? Okay, try on this for size: “the N97 mini is truly unique.”

Want us to repeat that one too? No? Us neither.

So angry did this make us, so full of rage and bile and nose dribble that we almost became to mad to point you in the direction of these Nokia N97 Mini deals, or this Nokia N97 mini review. Because how dare they bespoil this fair language with such utter tripe. This is, in fact, the least ‘truly unique’ phone we’ve seen all year.

But what’s funny is that that’s actually a good thing. Those marketing goons have been so determined to use the same old trite language that they’ve actually missed a trick. The point about the mini that is fantastic is that it is not at all unique, it is not at all truly original or anything like that. It is just a smaller version of what was already a fantastic phone. Simple as. Because that is as appealing as can be. We just wish they had the balls to admit it.

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Nokia has officially announced the new Nokia N900, as the video below shows, this looks like a serious bit of kit. I was holding out for the N97, but I might just wait to get my hands one one of these tasty little things. There is no official release date yet, but as soon as Nokia N900 deals become available, we will be sure to let you know!

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