Because for years you’ve been hearing about what would happen “if” Carlsberg did other things. If they did parties you’d be surrounded by nubile young things wearing very few things… If they did Sunday pub teams you’d be playing with a bunch of senile ex-England stars. If if if…

But, in a sense, those Finns have gone one better with the Nokia Booklet 3G, because Nokia haven’t just asked us to imagine how great it would be if they went out and made a netbook, they’ve actually gone out there and made a netbook. And, well, it’s great.

Like, really, properly, full on great. We’ve been using netbooks for a while now, loving their no (or low) frills attitude and sheer portability. And, seeing as how Nokia phone’s have always been about those kind of things too, we had every confidence the Nokia 3G Booklet was going to be a cracker. And boy, is it.

A 10” HD screen, 3G, WiFi, sim card slot, Windows 7, 12 (twelve!) hours of battery life… what more do we need to say. Well, the question, as always, is what more can we be arsed saying. The answer, as always, is very little. But, good news too is that this fair Nokia Booklet 3G review and this official page say far more than we ever could here anyway.

So click through, agree with the greatness, crack open a beer, and just thank the day that Nokia ever decided to do a Carlsberg on us

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Done it? Excellent.

So, presumably, like us, you were a bit bemused at first. Or if not bemused then sighingly depressed. Another self-made Nokia video, another reason to get mad about Nokia self-making videos. Guy with stupid Finnish hair? Check. Guy with stupid Finnish hair trying not to look like a middle-class dad of two who owns a sensible car by wearing a Stussy t-shirt? Check. Uber geek second Finnish guy who looks, well, less, or, maybe, more, oh god, what, terrifying? Check. Dodgy camera work? Check? Disappointing shots of the – GOOD LORD WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT

See, right there, that moment, that point at which they actually stop blathering on and show the phone, that is when it suddenly all becomes worth it. Because the Nokia N900 is a stonker, a stone cold screamer, a downright bad ass of a phone. And that’s not even doing it full justice. It’s not even worth mentioning any of the features of this phone here, in fact. And not only because we’re lazy and can just point you in the direction of this Nokia N900 review, or these official stats. But because there’s just too many. And every single one of them, every stat, every app, every gadget, gizmo and design feature is just spot on. Fair enough, you might not want what used to be (and now, thank god, doesn’t seem to be) called an internet tablet. But if you do, if you’re in any way in the market for a multimedia / smartphone / other kind of all-singing/-dancing handset, then put your feet up, relax, you just found what you’re looking for. It’s as simple as that.

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Dog bites woman on hand, detaches finger. FAIL!

Grandparent drops baby. FAIL!

Sometimes, the kids, they give us great things. Not very often, to be fair. But sometimes phrases, inventions, new musical styles or other such things emerge from da yoof. However, most of the time, all we get from them are inanities, stabbings, swine flu and all manner of STDs.

What we’re not able to decide, however, is in which camp to place the newest craze sweeping the nation (or our local pub, at least): that of people shouting FAIL at anyone who does something wrong, anyone who is bettered by someone in any way, or even just at the occurrence of an event, happening or circumstance that could have in some small or large way gone better than it did. It’s the Nelson in the Simpsons shouting HA-ha for 2009.

Mostly, it just winds us right up. But that might be because we’re quite often on the end of said FAIL! hollerings. However, we also find ourself using it more and more, and today was such a day. Because we slightly reluctantly – knowing the “quality” of the videos they produce – sat down to watch the below offering for the Nokia 5230. Then at about 35 seconds, we did a double take, rewound, then watched again. And then we shouted FAIL! At the screen. Have a go yourself. 33…34…35… finger scrolls over screen…36… screens decides to actually respond to touch. Massive, terminal FAIL! How could you make a video that shows a possible failing in your product? Utter FAIL! Radical FAIL! Sublime FAIL!

Which is all rather a shame, because as this official page details, and as this Nokia 5230 review explains, the Nokia 5230 is really not a bad phone at all. In fact, it’s a very decent, very affordable phone. Hey ho, there’s no accounting for FAIL!

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Why don’t we care? Well, the Nokia 6700 doesn’t want us to care. The 6700 is so insouciant, so resolutely fine just how it is, that it doesn’t need any kind of ego-stroking. We could tell you about the CABC. Yep, you know, the Content Adaptive Brightness Control, which uses sensors for determining the amount of ambient light around you, then checks to see what application you’re using, and adjusts the screen brightness and contrast accordingly. Example: a game would be made brighter and more powerful than reading an SMS, saving strain on the battery and improving its overall standby time. Neat, huh? Well as we were writing that the Nokia 6700 classic was just staring into the distance at some pretty women who couldn’t help but look over and giggle amongst themselves.

This phone is ‘that’ cool. It has all the specs, all the gadgets and gizmos of most of the smartphones out there, but it doesn’t feel the need to wear them on its sleeve. Most likely because its sleeves are made of finely glimmering metal. As are its buttons. And its screen, like a well-judged pair of sunglasses, is not too big, but ‘just’ big enough for what you need.

Don’t believe us? Have a look at Nokia’s official page. Still don’t believe us? Try this Nokia 6700 review. Still not sure? Maybe the video below will help. Still nothing… then baby, you just ain’t cool enough to ever understand. Go buy yourself a big-screened touchscreen piece of nonsense.

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The E52, just about, is a triple-double-taker. And why? Well, that’s why we’re here, obviously, to tell you:

1. Its battery life is not just long, it is obscene. With 25 days of standby you might forget you ever even needed to charge it in the first place. Wow.
2. Despite its smartphones-ness, it’s feature-packed-ness, and its obscenity-of-a-battery-ness, the Nokia E52 less than a centimetre thick (9.9mm, in fact). Compare that to, say, the Blackberry curves 15mm, the Iphone 3G S’s 12.3mm, or, well, or just about any other phone in or near its category and you’ve got one slim little thing.
3. It weighs less than a 100 grams too, even with that beastly battery.

There’s a full list of specs, functions, features and other things in this Nokia E52 review, but all you really need to know are these three things. Because if you’re in the phone for a smartphone / businessphone and you haven’t just sat up and listened like we did, then you probably don’t deserve an Nokia E52anyway. Try not to let the terrible video below put you off though (Nokia are to blame, as they so often are with videos this bad).

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However, Nokia could be inadvertently supplying us with at least a small option for making our day-to-day grind a little less manic, with the 2720 Fold. Although being targeted at ‘emerging markets’ – with its mail and internet access, Nokia Life Tools and FM radio – we think there’s a place for the Nokia 2720 Fold in many pockets who live in the so-called developed world. Had enough of push technology pinging emails and messages in your face every five minutes? Sick of 3D surround sound sub woofered in-phone speakers deafening you? Still not found any use whatsoever for 3G? Then the Nokia 2720 Fold might just be the phone for you. Just take a look at what it does offer to get a sense of what it doesn’t offer, if you see what we mean:

• 1.8″ 128×160 pixel internal display
• Smaller external screen
• 1.3 megapixel camera
• MP3 ringtones
• FM radio
• Integrates with Ovi Mail
• Web browser
• Bluetooth
• Maximum talktime is around 5 hours plus about 16 days standby time

See? It has heard of the internet, it just doesn’t think much of it. And it understands the concept of taking pictures, but doesn’t really value it all that much. Feel the same way? Well this dinky little fold might be just the thing for you. Read a full Nokia 2720 fold review here, and dance along to this banging video below too

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The 5530 XpressMusic, as Nokia have rightly recognised, is primarily a phone. That thing you use to keep in touch with people. Talk to them. Send them messages. That kind of crazy thing. To this fantastical end, they’ve updated the homescreen and contacts bar, adding a cool revolving carousel feature to the latter that give you a spinning wheel of the 20 people you like most in life (or the ones you need to phone in sick to, at least). We only hope other “phone” manufacturers see the light and remember that they too are primarily phone manufacturers too.

Secondly, of course, the Nokia 5530 XpressMusic is a music playing device. And, well, Nokia didn’t need to do much here. Like its predecessor, this things plays music better than anything else you’ve ever heard (in the portable world, that is). And that includes dedicated music players.

The handset does other things too, but less than it used to. And because of that bold choice, it does the things it still does all the better. Check out this Nokia 5530 review for some info on what else it does, and watch, if you dare, the painfully silly video below.

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• New optical navigation key for intuitive scrolling and fast panning
• 128 grams, 10mm thick
• 480 standby hours. 12 hrs 2G talk time, 6 hours for 3G
• Camera upgraded to 5 megapixels
• Symbian S60 system running faster thanks to performance tweaks
• 3.5 mm audio jack and FM radio included
• Desktop like email experience (shipped in from the E75)
• New IM features connecting you to Yahoo, Google, Ovi, etc. accounts
• Lifetime license for Nokia’s mobile email and IM services
• Onboard Mail for Exchange – access all your email accounts, whether business or personal
• Compass and A-GPS + integrated maps
• Noise cancellation
• Spacebar-activated torch function
• Access to the new Ovi Store for apps and more
• New version of Quickoffice – Microsoft Office 2007 compatibility

There we go, we feel better after that. The Nokia E72 is something more than special. Check out this Nokia E72 review for more stats. As Nokia Vice President Ilari Nurmi said to the press recently , “despite the outstanding market performance of the Nokia E71, we still continually look for ways to enhance the device.” That translates to us as meaning – we could have sat on our arses and just re-released more or the less the same phone, but we didn’t. So, roll on Autumn, roll on the release of this little bad boy, and roll on waves and waves of adulation for Nokia when they do. Oh, and don’t forget to order a Nokia E72 for yourself before they’re all gone. And in the meantime, check out this “rocking” video made by the lovely Finnish people themselves:

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The keyboard is designed very user-friendly and there’s ample finger space between two keys. The 2.4 inches QVGA screen will slide sideways to reveal the keyboard and this will give an all round email experience and make you feel like you’re using your own 111.8mm x 50mm x 14.4mm laptop! And you can carry it around easily in your hand or in your pocket as it weights only 139g. The E75 comes in 4 colors; black, silver, copper yellow and red.

Speaking about its other features, it’s got a 3.2megapixel camera that comes with autofocus and LED flash. All your data is stored within a memory of 50MB but if you need to, you can insert a memory card into your microSD slot and increase the memory up to 16GB. In the musical aspect, you can listen to your favorite songs in the media player and use your favorite pair of headphones to listen to them as you get a 3.5mm audio port. There’s direct access to Nokia’s Music Store where you can either purchase your favorite music or download songs to your phone straightaway. With E75, you can also get direct access to Nokia’s N-Gage gaming platform as well.

In terms of connectivity, you can get access to quad-band GSM and tri-band UMTS, HSPA, GPRS, EDGE, WiFi and WCDMA. The 1000MHz battery will give you 11days standby time and 4/5hrs talk time on GSM/3G respectively. You can also get access to Nokia Maps through integrated GPS. Please See more info here.

It is also important that you get the right connection for your phone. For this you need to compare E75 the offers made by various networks such as O2, Orange, TMobile, etc. Nokia E75 will also work towards getting you the best tariffs in the country for you. With Nokia E75 you can gain the best tariffs and also win a contract where you can pay for the phone in installments. It’s better if you check Nokia deals available online so that you can receive many benefits.

If you are looking for network specific deals, follow the links below:

Nokia E75 on Orange
Nokia E75 on O2
Nokia E75 on T-Mobile
Nokia E75 on Vodafone
Nokia E75 on 3 Mobile
Nokia E75 on Virgin

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The keyboard looks a little crowded as 2 letters allocated to 1 key (the 2 letters concentrating on the 2 corners at the bottom of the key) but it is only a matter of time until you get used to typing fast in it. It looks quite attractive and prompts any phone lover to buy it.

You can get extremely fast internet with HSDPA and there’s also WiFi while the networks are as follows:
• Quad-band on GSM – 850/900/1800/1900MHz
• Tri-band on UMTS – 900/1900/2100MHz OR
• Tri-band on UMTS – 850/1900/2100MHz

Nokia E55 works on S60 3rd Edition, Feature Pack 2 and also offers Bluetooth. You can go on for 8hrs & 6hrs talking continuously on GSM and 3G respectively. And the standby time is 31 days on GSM and 21 days for 3G. The display being 2.2inches QVGA and the camera being 3.2megapixels, the Nokia E55 empower you to share your pictures in either Flickr or Ovi. The official product page will provide you with more information that you need to know about this phone.

If you’re thinking about what sort of a network you would get once you buy it, you can now compare the best deals at Nokia E55. In case you already didn’t know, Nokia E55 deals helps you evaluate the best offers made by various service providers and help you select the one that’s suitable for your finances. All you’ve got to do is go to Nokia E55 contracts and deals, then compare the deals available depending on your desired number of texts and call time. You are guaranteed to get what you’re looking for. So make sure you check out the cheap Nokia deals before you make a final decision.

Nokia E55 on Orange
Nokia E55 on O2
Nokia E55 on T-Mobile
Nokia E55 on Vodafone
Nokia E55 on 3 Mobile
Nokia E55 on Virgin

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